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- So you're wondering who these people are whom I write about in my diary? Well, here's everything you never wanted to know. Will be updated whenever I feel the urge. These are in no particular order, just the order they pop into my mind. Watch out for two of the men, for they are unusual of character and are dressed oddly by their mothers. Steph - My best friend since the beginning of time. I can talk her into anything (GET A VIBRATOR!) Carey - She's very, very cool and has very, very red hair. Apparently, we got married 75 years ago. Don't ask. Even she doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about Lauren - Does everything and does everything well. Brilliant mind, incredible body. Oh, and she's really cool. Yeah. Gordon - He smells. A sexual predator who gives me presents. Luke - Not scary anymore. Cute, funny, delicious, we're a (mis)matched set. Mostly harmless. He's not fuscia. Li - Bugged me to put him on here. He's not so much a Prince of Darkness as a Prince of Insufficient Light. A cannibal and a communist, he's a big scary cuddly toilet brush and would make a very good pimp. I'm getting bored, because I'm an ADD puppy. I'll add more later.
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